brokenweapon | 033.

Current Mood: confused

Entry tags:

033. - Video.

[Who is this young-Matt-Damon-looking motherfucker? Hint: It's Jason. Not yet though, now he is Captain David Webb, U.S. Army. Military Intelligence. So he's just been plucked from Ft. Meade with these totally ill shades. And BDUs. Also he is from about 1997, so he's 27ish. And if you listen hard, you miiiiight be able to catch a Midwestern accent in there. So. Have fun.]

Hey, I'm not in the Navy, and I never asked to join any damned Barge. I'm looking back on all this shit that's supposedly from me - from me in the future - like that makes a fucking lick of sense.

Huh. Looks like I'm a taciturn son of a bitch in my thirties. [Also what the fuck why is everyone calling him Jason in these past entries. Meh. He's MI, he is not unused to the prospect of being undercover.]

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Are you sure? My dad's friend told me about them. He said they were called camel spiders, because they eat camels.

Oh, the camel spiders! Nah, they're not that big...but I did see one about as long as my arm once. One of the guys in my squad picked it up to show us.

Oh! That's big... but not that big. Do they chase people?

Not that I know of. Mostly they eat smaller bugs, I guess.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't want to wake up with one! One time we were camping in New Mexico and I woke up with a scorpion in my sleeping bag. [He makes a face at the memory.]

Yeah, you have to watch out for those buggers. We had 'em in Iraq, too. Got to shake out your boots before you put them on...

[sheepishly] ... I kinda knocked down the tent trying to kill it. Took a boot and just smashed... everything.

[Webb laughs.] At least you got out of it okay. And it makes for a good story.

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033. - Video.

I couldn't help myself.

Jesus Christ on a cracker I just googled those. AUGH AUGH AUGH

Haha, everybody who knows someone in Iraq got the email with those ugly mothers!

Snopes tells me I was wrong about the size. Also, HAHAHA.

I personally heard the 'big enough to sleep in' tale back in '03

Crikey. What is this, Hoth?

Iraq was totally the new Hoth in '03.

Pffffff